Day 14: You are quite wonderful the way you see room for improvement wherever you look

Day 14: You are quite wonderful the way you see room for improvement wherever you look

Day 14: You are quite wonderful the way you see room for improvement wherever you look

Wednesday, 14 January 2015

When someone offers you the gift of food…

Do:

  1. Be gracious. Smile and say ‘thank you’, even if it looks disgusting. Their intentions are good and they didn’t have to offer it to you.
  2. Take a modest portion. Don’t be greedy.
  3. If you must refuse, tell them the problem is with you: you’re not feeling well, or you’ve already eaten, or you’re lactose intolerant (and if it’s a lie, be sure to maintain it).
  4. If you must be greedy, share an anecdote about how much you love it and shower your benefactor with appreciation so they’ll remember next time what a fan you are.
  5. Tell them it’s amazing, even if it’s revolting. Remember, their intentions are good and they didn’t have to offer it to you.
  6. If it is revolting, keep it to yourself and be thankful you only took a modest portion; and remember to exercise (3) in future.

 

Don’t:

  1. Take a giant portion.
  2. Take a tiny bite, then spit it out.
  3. Throw it in the bin.
  4. Declare to all and sundry that it’s revolting. You’re not Manu Feidel and this isn’t an episode of My Kitchen Rules.
  5. Upon realising you’ve done all of the above in the presence of the person who brought the food, proceed to shower them with a level of praise and gratitude that borders on obsequious.

 

The initial shock of meeting someone so lacking in social graces is a bit like accidentally deleting a photo you really like, which is what’s happening in this photo.

It’s the face I kept buried inside while I channelled my inner Dame Maggie Smith and told this charmless wonder she needn’t be embarrassed.

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