Day 192: I do not think it means what you think it means

Thursday, 11 July 2014

Well the Boot of Shame is off, at long last. I’m now seeing a podiatrist, who used a stereoscopic camera and a pair of striped socks as reference to create a 3D model of my feet, which will be used to create arches to put in my shoes. The whole process took about five minutes.

And here I thought he was going to cake my feet in modelling clay.

Imagine my surprise when he said it’ll take two weeks for the arches to be ready – I thought he was going to whip out a 3D printer and make one on the spot.

Sadly, this was not the most memorable part of my visit to his office. Science nerdery gave way to wordplay when he explained exactly what’s wrong with my feet:

“Your feet. They’re very loose. The joints, I mean.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Well normally, a foot should hold a certain shape. But the muscles in your feet are completely exhausted. They’re more like a pair of meat flaps dangling at the end of your legs.”

“Meat flaps?”

“Yeah.”

Oh… dear…