Day 39: I need a moment alone.
It’s that moment when you realise the four hours you’d put into persuading other people to see things differently just vanished as quickly as dust in the wind. With my team gone home early for the weekend and our corner desk bathed in the sunset, I’ve given myself this moment to let my guard down, to drop the pretence, and give in to my own fears and insecurities.
I’ll be fine, I tell myself, as long as I remember that’s all they are. And as I stare into the setting sun, I let my mind drift towards something – anything – that will help me let it all go.
Usually my drive to work is spent listening to rubbish like Hollywood Babble-On or Fatman On Batman, but I’ve had this little earworm running through my head all day. It’s beautifully composed; a romantic piece with a baroque sense of timing. It reminds me of one of the songs I’ve long forgotten how to play. I’m not completely happy with the performance, though – it sounds as though the pianist is stabbing at the melody when it should flow with more legato. I know that I could play better than this performer in my prime. I probably still could. I think it’s time to track me down some sheet music.